In midday, it was 2 days ago on Tuesday. Jacob was walking around the train station waiting for his train. Suddenly he heard a strange noise flying through the sky. Jacob saw a humongous eagle coming towards him and took Jacob to its den, however, Jacob was able to get on top of the eagle riding it like a skateboard in the air.
As Jacob was getting on top of the eagle riding it. He thought he could control the eagle, but Jacob tried to sit on it, about 5 times in the eye because he was afraid of heights. Luckily the eagle went down so Jacob could get off the eagle. And he ran away saying that he’ll never ever walk along with the train station again.
Meanwhile, Jacob was running into the forbidden forest. Jacob was lost, he tried to find his way back home, and he heard his phone ringing. It was his mum, Jacob couldn’t get a hold of her, so Jacob sat down next to an oak tree staring at his feet. But there was no way he would give up that easy.
So he kept running finding his way out of the forbidden forest. Jacob heard After that Jacob stopped. He looked at a bright beautiful light shining at his face. Jacob walked to it and finally escaped from the forbidden forest and ran home as fast as he could. Than Jacob reached his street, Jacob saw his house. It was about 6 houses away from him.
Jacob could still make it. He looked glanced to his left and right, after that he stopped and tripped over his mum’s foot, and Jacob’s mum said ‘’
Where were you, Jacob?
Jacob answered, " I was nowhere mum.”
“ It’s almost 8:00pm,“ mum said.
Yeah, I know mum Jacob said.
So Jacob went inside with his mum having their favorite dinner, Pancakes. Jacob and his Mum heard a bird sound coming from the front door. Jacob ran out to see the humongous Eagle.
Part 2 Coming Soon In Cinemas
Hi Jacob, my name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. I love the way that your story starts. I am wondering what is going to happen next in the story so hopefully I will be able to come back again.
ReplyDeleteTo improve your post, or to improve your story, I would love for you to add in more descriptive language, like similes, metaphors, alliteration, personification and sets of three (if you have learnt it).
Great work!
Mia